i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
