so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
