Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
