i think i have herpe
just one?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
