marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I puked a lego.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
