I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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