you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
