my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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