Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
