you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
