question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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