I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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