she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
