Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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