last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
