What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
barbara walters just said penis...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Randomize
