I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
