she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
