It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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