ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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