Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
