I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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