I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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