Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
