actually, I'm a sock model
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
