Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
