3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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