Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
