did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
