Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
