nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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