pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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