so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on