We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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