wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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