weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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