it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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