the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
