I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
