This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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