Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
