Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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