he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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