ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
