Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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