How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
