Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
