Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
