so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
