okay pat passed out under dana's car
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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