Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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