i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
