I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize