Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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