he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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