Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
