Dual....:-)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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