They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
