so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
