So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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