Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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