butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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