? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
