I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
